


ashes, ashes, time to go down

by gnx (LiesArePartiallyTrue)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Lowercase, Not A Fix-It, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Black Panther (2018), Spoilers, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 16:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14500944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiesArePartiallyTrue/pseuds/gnx
Summary: [SPOILERS]"the one shall be taken, and the other left."snippets about what it's like; watching someone you love crumble to dust before your eyes.





	ashes, ashes, time to go down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [black_winged_traveller](https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_winged_traveller/gifts).



> i had to cope somehow (i cope by making myself cry)
> 
> ((spoilers, man, c'mon))

 

 

steve had remembered his mother's kind voice reading scripture to him, proud and catholic and irish, long after her hand had turned cold in his, and then into bucky's when she was gone and buried in the ground.

 

now bucky was the one who was gone, steve's name the last thing on his lips before they'd turned to ash, and steve was remembering all over again: " _then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left._ "

 

 _how fitting_ , steve thinks, that he should be the one that stays behind, through no choice of his own, forced to watch what's left of james barnes float into the wind. it's kind of like seeing him fall, only the second time hurts worse, and _god_ , but random choice must have a cruel fucking sense of humor. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"this is no place to die," okoye's king had said, right before he'd fallen away like dried chalk, blown in a gust of warm wakandian wind. okoye's mind is reeling, because it is not meant to be like this. her sworn duty is to her throne, she has pledged that she will go out first before her king ever does. yet, here she lies, on the ground among t'challa's ashes.

 

wakanda has mourned a king already, then mourned t'challa once, mourned all the lives lost in a civil war nobody ever knew to expect. in the aftermath of it, wakanda has revealed itself, let the world share in their near infinite resources, but all it has led to is this: wakanda broken open and fragile, a general left alive instead of a ruler, like a type of universal jest.

 

it leaves okoye gasping out, " _kumkani!_ ", for her king and for her people, and her failed, broken oaths, choice ripped away from her before she could so much as blink.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

strange had told tony there was no other way, no other reality he'd seen that was better than giving up the time stone for tony's life, but between one breath and the next, strange is gone and tony's hand itches where it's coated with peter's dust. peter, who hadn't wanted to go, who'd been afraid of dying, clutching at tony and pleading with him, like tony was where the world began and ended.

 

and after everything, strange's cryptic prophecies can fuck off right to hell, because when all is said and done, tony's left alone again, left instead of taken because the universe is apparently _just twisted like that_. like tony doesn't have his heaps of guilt to heave around on a regular day, like he hasn't tried to mask just how much regret and pain he feels all the damn time. like he hasn't been knocked down hard the last six years, and then told himself it was okay because he was just trying to _protect_ everybody, so what did it matter if they fought him every inch of the way? 

 

what does anything matter now, when _reality, space and power, mind and soul_ left him alive instead of literally _anyone else._ half a universe out there who'd deserved it more than tony, broken and alone on a dead planet with only a cyborg for company, mocked by fate, reminded of how worthless he feels over and over again. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

in the air, there is dust.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i've been crying for two days straight, this movie hurt me sO BAD
> 
>  
> 
> [i'm on hiatus on tumblr, but tbh i might come around again after this](https://gee-nx.tumblr.com)


End file.
